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Registered: 12/25/03
Posts: 125
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#200355 - 10/31/07 06:11 PM
Life in General
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Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 3384
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TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE- 01. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
- 02. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- 03. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- 04. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- 05. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
- 06. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
- 07. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- 08. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- 09. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
- 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
- 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
- 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- 16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
- 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
- 18. Procrastinate Now!
- 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
- 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
- 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
- 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
- 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
- 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
- 26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
- 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
- 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
- 29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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