Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Hop To
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,235
veteran
veteran
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,235
Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.
  1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
  2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
  3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
  4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
  5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah.
  6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
  7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients .
  8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments
  9. The first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.
  10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  11. Moses died before he ever reached canada then joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.
  12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
  13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
  14. Solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
  15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna carta.
  16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus in the manager.
  17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.
  18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
  19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
  20. It was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
  21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
  22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
  23. One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
  24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
  25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,275
Likes: 114
UBB.threads Developer
UBB.threads Developer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,275
Likes: 114
I'm just a wise guy from the west... wink...


I am a Web Development Contractor, I do not work for UBBCentral. I have provided free User to User Support since the beginning of these support forums.
Do you need Forum Install or Upgrade Services?
Forums: A Gardeners Forum, Scouters World
UBB.threads: UBBWiki, UBB Styles, UBB.Sitemaps
Longtime Supporter & Resident Post-A-Holic
VNC Web Services: Code Modifications, Upgrades, Styling, Coding Services, Disaster Recovery, and more!

Link Copied to Clipboard
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
Recent Topics
UBB 20 Years button
by Morgan - 02/20/2024 4:21 PM
Attachment/Cloudflar
e issue

by Morgan - 02/15/2024 5:47 AM
Forums down
by Nightcrawler - 02/14/2024 2:31 PM
How is this possible?
by Baldeagle - 02/08/2024 2:49 PM
Error Logs
by Outdoorking - 02/03/2024 9:41 PM
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 455 guests, and 398 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Random Gallery Image
Latest Gallery Images
Los Angeles
Los Angeles
by isaac, August 6
3D Creations
3D Creations
by JAISP, December 30
Artistic structures
Artistic structures
by isaac, August 29
Stones
Stones
by isaac, August 19
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0
(Preview build 20230217)