Well, it was 12:34am when I began the export operation in UBB, and the last file came out at 3:17am. So it's not 10 seconds for me
It was a many hour process, but I do now have all the data in MySQL 5 and have rebooted. Things look good so far, although we're still getting a lot of timeout errors. So MySQL5 didn't help those. The server says it's idle, so it's not that the server is busy.
I wonder why it's timing out ... but at least I now have that server with the latest PHP and the latest MYSQL so we are narrowing down the things to work on. My next step is to get the server guys to upgrade the server from 2000 to 2003. That might take a few days though, so I'm going to start playing with PHP and MySQL ini files in the meantime.