Hi folks,
EDIT: After i wrote up this question i was able to answer it myself. But feel free to read and comment if you wish.
thanks
Our little forum has recently been plagued by allegations of a "fake death" aka pseuicide, or "Munchausen by Proxy Server."
I've been trying to put aside my personal feelings -- have tried to be diplomatic as possible. I've asked that both parties be respectful of the serious damage that such a flame war can potentially do.
And I absolutely have been effective in mediating between the two opposing parties. Not effective 100% to everyone's liking. But this situation could have been a LOT worse.
It happened in July -- several months ago. And i've held my tongue. I've received advice from a private investigator who told me that i could fully investigate it on my own. And i've done the research. I've gotten assistance from the live journal group called "fake death." And I am 99.99999999% sure that it the report of the death is fake.
I am NOT asking for anyone's help on the question of whether he is actually dead. [Although i will gladly explain if anyone is curious.]
I do have an ethical question.
I have no problem reading someone's private messages when there is a question of spam. It simply needs to be done.
But do you think i would be within my right to read someone's private messages about this matter? As I am truly trying to manage this situation -- to "contain and not inflame," as has been asked of me.
My predecessor left me steering the ship. And there has been NO real discussion of what my moderation duties are. And this would be new.
The other option would be for me to hold off and fall back on my original plan. The original plan was to ask forum members to reach out to those who have been hurt by this.
I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this. As i'm wanting to remedy a couple of issues as we speak.
If you feel that i am overthinking this problem, as i have a tendency to do, then please tell me. EDIT to ADD: And as i'm writing this it occurred to me that said Private Messages could very well be about a camping trip or some other unrelated event.
regards,
tacks
Additional information:
I am moderator by default. My predecessor left me steering the ship. Not to be too self promoting, but i did save the forum and the owner said that publicly.
The private messages in question are from our youngest member who took this nonsense, "hook line and sinker." It is sad because she spoke out publicly about this and she looks "less than brilliant." If an opportunity comes i will consult with a close friend of the girls about removing her comments in a "save face"/good will gesture.
1 -- I do know this allegedly dead individual to be a shameless liar and a con artist. He had lawyers threaten the forum owner with legal action. And if i owned the forum i would have dealt with him years earlier. So it's near impossible for me to be entirely objective because I do hate this individual.
2 -- Roughly 18 months ago i added this to our board rules:
"XXXX XXXXXX Forums makes every possible effort to protect the privacy of its forum members. But our budget for internet security is not unlimited. We do not employ full time IT experts to monitor the forum. We have given outside contractors access to the forum so they can update and maintain the forums. We accept the help of volunteers who deal with spam and other offensive posts. We make every effort to protect the privacy of forum members but we do not guarantee it unconditionally. If a forum member wishes to send a Private Message to another member containing highly sensitive material we ask them to consider NOT using the forum’s PM feature. Consider using another means of communication which might be more secure.
Thank you."
Last edited by tacks; 10/27/2012 6:18 PM.
