UBB.threads PHP Forum Software Community Forums General Off Topic Tell me a Joke with a spolier

C'mon, no-one's used the spoiler on my boards yet....!

I need a joke with a killer punch-line that I can 'spoil' !!!

Answers on a postcard, to....

The only jokes that stick in my head are the ones from Bad Joke Friday from KISW, a radio station in Seattle. Needless to say, they probably aren't quite right to post here

Aww go-on Rick - that's what spoilers are for

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......

One more, just in case
----------------------

"Not enough room"

A Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.

A blind man joins them after a few minutes.

When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies,

193109 is my favorite joke ever...

This guy was waiting in the doctor's surgery after having some tests done. The doctor returned from the laboratory and said:

"There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have brain tumor that not even our best expert can operate on. The good news is that this surgery has just received a license to do a new brain transplant procedure that's never been tried before."

Luckily for the patient there had just been an road accident nearby, where unfortunately a young couple had been killed.

The doctor said, "You can have either the man's brain or the woman's brain. The man's brain is $1,000,000.00 and the woman's brain is $30,000.00."

The guy couldn't help asking why there was such a big difference in price between the male and female brain.

I don't get it...

Don't you mean...
I don't get it

Thanks guys - these are great to get me started

3 nuns die and go to heaven. St Peter meets them at the gate and says there's been a change of plan. As they have dedicated their whole lives to God he wants to reward them by sending them back to Earth as the person of their choice for 6 months.

The first nun says "I want to be Madonna" then swiftly vanishes in a puff of smoke.

The second nun says "I want to be Marlene Dietrich" then also vanishes in a puff of smoke.

The third nun says "I want to be Sarah Pippeleeny" but nothing happens. St Peter franticly thumbs through his clip board for the name but can't find anything. He says to the nun, "Who was that again?". "Sarah Pippeleeny" the nun replies. "I can't seem to find her" replies St Peter. "Here" says the nun, and hands him a newspaper cutting. St Peter reads the article and says, "It's not Sarah Pippeleeny."